How Do Terrorist Attacks Impact Social Relationships of Witnesses?

What you need to know

• Witnessing a terrorist attack can lead to changes in self-perception and behavior that impact social relationships
• Others’ reactions to witnesses’ experiences, including lack of understanding or stigma, can further strain social connections
• Witnesses often cope by withdrawing, avoiding discussions, or only sharing with others who experienced the attacks, which can reinforce feelings of social disconnection

How terrorist attacks change witnesses

Experiencing a terrorist attack firsthand can profoundly change a person. Many participants in this study described feeling as though the person they were before the attack “never came back.” These changes manifested in several ways that impacted their social relationships:

Heightened alertness

Many witnesses reported being constantly on edge and hypervigilant about potential threats. This made it difficult for them to relax and engage normally in social situations. As one participant described:

“I just cannot relax. I just cannot … I cannot feel good anymore. I am too alert, I have seen everything, always looking around. When I’m on a square, I’m always looking around.”

This constant state of alertness can make casual social interactions feel draining or uncomfortable.

Increased aggression

Some witnesses found themselves struggling with a shorter temper, outbursts of anger, or general irritability after the attacks. This change in temperament often strained their closest relationships. One participant noted:

“My wife tells me all the time: ‘You’re not [yourself] anymore’. I get aggressive. […] I have completely changed. So much stricter.”

These shifts in mood and behavior can be confusing and hurtful for loved ones who don’t understand the root cause.

Feelings of guilt

For first responders especially, feelings of guilt about not doing enough during the attacks led some to avoid victim support groups or memorial events. This self-imposed isolation can prevent witnesses from accessing potentially helpful support networks.

Distrust of others

Nearly all participants reported becoming more distrustful of people in general after the attacks. For some, this resulted in social withdrawal. A few specifically mentioned distrusting people of Muslim origin due to the attackers’ religious affiliation. One witness shared:

“I trust people less. I do not have a lot of friends anymore. And I do not come outside. I mostly see my family.”

This erosion of trust can make it difficult to form new connections or maintain existing relationships.

Physical symptoms

Many participants experienced physical symptoms like fatigue, heart palpitations, or migraines that they attributed to witnessing the attacks. These symptoms often made social engagements challenging. One participant described:

“I become dizzy, I get headaches, from bearable to migraine. Then I come into a phase where I think: nothing is important. Even becoming homeless! […] I always get my payback. And then I have to sleep 3, 4 days, and it goes on, non-stop.”

When physical symptoms are severe or unpredictable, it can lead witnesses to withdraw from social activities.

How others react to witnesses

The way people in witnesses’ lives responded to their experiences also played a significant role in shaping their social relationships after the attacks:

Lack of understanding

Many participants felt that friends and family struggled to comprehend what they had been through or why they were still affected by it. This gap in understanding often widened over time. As one witness explained:

“No one can imagine. No one can understand. Not even my husband. He was hurt in a way. And that wasn’t very helpful. […] I expected too much of him. He felt alone. And I had expected too much of him, pushed him too much. I wanted to force him, but he could not.”

This disconnect can leave witnesses feeling isolated even among loved ones.

Stigma

When witnesses’ struggles persisted over time, some faced judgment or stigma. They might be labeled as weak or, if on medical leave, accused of taking advantage of the situation. This stigma sometimes led to social exclusion. One participant shared:

“I do not see anyone anymore … A colleague-friend of mine that I had known my whole career, she just stopped keeping in touch. Because they feel that’s it’s been long enough, people judge themselves when it has to stop.”

Being judged or ostracized for their ongoing struggles can compound witnesses’ trauma and further damage their social connections.

Taboo around discussing the attacks

Some participants, especially those who worked near the attack site, felt that talking about the events became taboo over time. This created barriers to processing their experiences with others. A police officer described:

“It had become such a taboo topic. Which I found terrible, because I wanted to know what my colleagues had done that day. I knew they were there, and I wanted to talk about it with those that wanted to talk. But the only way you could do it anymore, was to somehow make sure you were alone with them, because if there were others, they were like ‘Are you still nagging about that?’”

When open discussion is discouraged, it can prevent witnesses from getting the social support they need.

How witnesses cope with changes and others’ reactions

Faced with internal changes and challenging social dynamics, witnesses developed various coping strategies:

Silence

Many chose to stop talking about the attacks or their ongoing struggles. While this avoided conflict, it also prevented acknowledgment of their experiences. One participant explained:

“One of my friends said, ‘Come on, it’s been two years, do victims still need support?’ And I think, you’d have to experience it yourself. How would you react? But I’m not going to fight over it. I just do not talk with that person about it anymore.”

This silence can reinforce feelings of isolation and prevent witnesses from getting support.

Avoidance

Some witnesses actively avoided conversations or situations that might remind them of the attacks. This often extended to avoiding crowded or noisy places, leading to increased solitude. A participant described:

“Everybody should just leave me alone, let me take a walk outside. I need a lot of air and light. I have my forest here, so I can just go there … Like I said, one day I’ll go to some godforsaken place in Italy, and I’ll grow old there.”

While avoidance may provide short-term relief, it can limit social engagement over time.

Trying to create understanding

Recognizing the lack of understanding, some witnesses made concerted efforts to help others comprehend their experiences. This included showing photos or bringing partners to medical appointments. One participant shared:

“My wife, well, I took her to everything. To the doctor, I took her there. So that she would hear it from the doctor as well—even to the psychologist, just so she could hear what it is. Good that we did. Because else I think you would not get any understanding at home.”

These efforts, while well-intentioned, were not always successful in bridging the gap in understanding.

Connecting with other witnesses

Many participants found that they could only truly open up to others who had experienced the attacks. While this provided a sense of understanding, it could also reinforce distance from other social contacts. A witness explained:

“I mostly talked with colleagues. People who went through it, whether or not from a different perspective. Because it’s difficult to explain the nuances to people who did not experience it. Not because they do not understand, but because you do not know how to put it into words.”

This selective disclosure can create a divide between witnesses and their broader social networks.

Conclusions

• Witnessing a terrorist attack can lead to complex changes in self-perception, behavior, and social dynamics that impact relationships over time
• There is often a gap between witnesses’ experiences and others’ understanding, which can lead to feelings of isolation even among close social contacts
• Coping strategies like silence or avoidance, while providing short-term relief, may reinforce social disconnection in the long term
• Promoting public understanding of the long-term impacts of witnessing terrorism, while also supporting resilience, may help bridge the gap between witnesses and their social networks